Misfits’ Guide to Summer Movies 2009

Harry_potter_and_the_half_blood_prince While May in not officially a Summer month, it is the start of the season’s movie onslaught. “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” has already hit the box office to kick things off but its competition is fast approaching. Here’s a handy, dandy rundown to some of what the long, hot months have in store for us.

May 8th
Star Trek
Go see it. Really. Twice.

May 15th
Big Man Japan (Limited)
A modern day giant monster movie from the Land of the Rising Sun, it follows a poor middle-aged dude who’s job is to become a chunky giant that fights monsters who attack the country. It looks weird and glorious.

Terminator Salvation
Not only did they drop that “Future Begins” crap from the title (good call), they decided to get a one-day jump on their supposed competition. I’m excited!

May 22nd
Night at the Museum 2: Escape from the Smithsonian
A large cast of awesome actors (like Hank Azaria, Amy Adams, Bill Hader, Christopher Guest, Steve Coogan, and Eugene Levy) romp about in this sequel to a surprisingly awesome movie.

May 29th
Drag Me to Hell
Normally I don’t include horror flicks on my lists but this one just looks really cool.

Up
After seeing the full trailer, I’ve got to include this movie on the calendar. Looks like the cranky old man in the balloon-house will be battling against another cranky old-man in a zeppelin with plans of a tech-based and dastardly nature.

June 5th
Land of the Lost
Over/under on number of times Will Ferrell will be running around in his skivvies: 3.

June 12th
Dead Snow (Limited)
The most highly anticipated Norwegian Nazi-zombie movie ever made is finally hitting some big screens.

Moon (New York, Los Angeles)

June 19th
Year One
It’s looks funny enough and the Jack Black/Michael Cera combo seems to work but I’m not sure I’m going to see this in the theaters…

June 24th
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
The return of Optimus and company has been bumped up two days – the better to decimate its celluloid opponents.

July 17th
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
I’m fairly sure none of those angry fans are boycotting this.

July 31st
They Came From Upstairs
A little family-style sci-fi fun. Looks like it may not be too painful…maybe…hopefully…I have a young niece…

August 7th
G.I. JOE: Rise of Cobra
I stand by my previous call – it’s either going to be ridiculously awesome, ridiculously terrible, or so ridiculous it’s fantastic. Regardless, I do know that Ray Parks as “Snake Eyes” will be the shizz. I just hope The Baroness has an accent of some kind because that’s very necessary.

August 7th
Shorts
Robert Rodriguez is back with more of his fantasy, family fare. Based on the title and trailer, I assume it’ll be a collection of connective stories kind of like the classic book “Sideways Stories From Wayside School.”

August 14th
District 9
Because yes.

I Sell the Dead (Limited)
An grave-robber/zombie comedy set in the 18th century starring Dominic Monaghan and Ron Perlman among others. That’s not a sentence you get to write everyday.

Ponyo
And now for something completely different. If you’re not into alien relocation or zombies circa the 1700’s, here’s genius Hayao Miyazaki’s latest animated fantasy about a little boy and his goldfish…who happens to be a transformed human princess. The American release will feature the voice stylings of Matt Damon, Tina Fay, Cate Blanchett, Liam Neeson, Lily Tomlin, Betty White, and Cloris Leachman among others.

The Time Traveler’s Wife
For couples who can’t get their significant other to a sci-fi flick or romance, here’s a bit of both. Rachel McAdams is the wife who’s husband, played by Eric Bana, randomly shifts through time with no warning.

Which movies are you most looking forward? Have any predictions? Did I miss anything?

About Tamara Brooks

A few things I wondered about as a kid: Why didn't Wonder Woman punch more bad guys in the face on the tv show?; How does Superman flying around the Earth turn back time?; Could someone really catch bullets with their teeth?; Why didn't the liquid bits of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man cause 3rd degree burns on whoever it landed on? Because melted marshmallow is up there with molten hot lava.