Top 5 Ways I’d Misuse The Force

Starwarsforceunleashed_starkiller
With the hopefully, seemingly epic video game Star Wars: The Force Unleashed coming out soon, I’ve been thinking a little bit about how I’d be if I had those powers. Saying that I’m a goody-two-shoes is a bit of an exaggeration but I’m definitely not evil. I can’t even go the "bad guy" route in video games without feeling a twinge of guilt. That being said, I do know that there are some selfish and self-serving ways I’d end up using The Force. And here’s how…

5. Entertainment
Not that I wouldn’t tip but sometimes I just don’t feel like paying for dinner or drinks. I don’t like being charged twice the price of a concert ticket because there’s only one place to buy it (you all know the evil entity I’m talking about). There’s nothing I hate more than have to pay a cover at a bar or club. The remedy? You do not desire to charge me…those tickets come with backstage passes…

Starwarsforceunleashed4. Parking Spots
One of my biggest pet peeves in the whole wide world is people who park like a-holes. My street (and L.A. in general) are full of them. I’d like nothing more than to Force Push those jerks’ cars so that they aren’t limiting me (or others). And if I were in a particularly bad mood, some of the more egregious, repeat offenders might be surprised to find their automobiles upside down. D-bags.

3. Price Negotiations
I like cars. Except they cost too much for me to own what I want when I want it. I’ll be taking that A8 for $200, thanks. And it’s not like it’ll cost much for me to get gas. And by much I mean anything.

2. No More Bills!
Are we sensing a theme here? Raise your hand if want your student loans to go away…

1. The Perfect Salary and Benefits Package
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Now, I’m not saying I’d Mind Trick someone into paying me a million dollars a year or anything, but I’ve had many experiences in the past where it’d be nice if the HR person I was talking to wasn’t made of evil. A little persuasion would’ve done wonders.

Bonus: Never having to wait in line – especially at grocery stores behind someone who takes up a lot of space doing a lot of nothing.

Okay, you’ve heard about my abuses of The Force, how would you misuse your poweres?

About Tamara Brooks

A few things I wondered about as a kid: Why didn't Wonder Woman punch more bad guys in the face on the tv show?; How does Superman flying around the Earth turn back time?; Could someone really catch bullets with their teeth?; Why didn't the liquid bits of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man cause 3rd degree burns on whoever it landed on? Because melted marshmallow is up there with molten hot lava.